Compassion: Developing compassion and empathy in toddlers.

Around the age of 18 months old, toddlers begin to understand that they have got their own thoughts and feelings and are developing their sense of will. They are beginning to learn that some things are theirs, some things are shared and that some things belong to other people. Toddlers are born to be sociable but empathy is a skill that needs to be nurtured and supported at an early age. By teaching empathy to toddlers it will allow them to:

• Understand that they are an individual person in their own right.

• Understand that they have different thoughts and beliefs to others around them.

• Begin to recognise that they have different emotions (happy/sad etc) from other people around them.

• To build relationships with others around them.

• Understand that others have different beliefs and views to them.

Tips4Toddlers - A Guide to supporting your child to become empathic

1. Patience. Empathy takes time and it is a tricky thing to understand as toddlers main focus is on me, myself and I.

2. Empathise with your child. For example ‘Are you scared of that dog? Look, he is a big brown dog and who has a loud bark. I will hold your hand as we walk past it.’ By acknowledging your toddlers emotions, you are giving your toddler comfort and reassurance during a scary moment in their lives. By holding their hand you are also giving your child physical confidence that you are not going to leave them on their own and therefore maybe next time your toddler will be able to walk past on their own.

3. Talk about other people’s feelings. For example ‘Tim feels sad because you took his train away. Please give his toy back. You can play with another toy and then play with the train later.’ This helps teach your toddler that they need to share activities and wait for their turn.

4. Role model. Demonstrate to your toddler how to be empathetic towards others by helping another child carry a basket or helping a child who cannot access something.

5. Validating emotions. For Example ‘I know you are cross because I turned off the TV. I understand. When you have finished being cross you can come and help me make lunch.’ This demonstrates that you are acknowledging that your toddler is upset but moving the focus on to another subject.

6. Pretend play. Through the use of role play adults can act out positive scenarios such as ‘oh no, the doll has fallen off the chair, shall we go and see if they are ok?’ Through doing this you are teaching a child how to interact with others who might be upset.

7. Use other words that mean sorry. The word sorry is a tricky concept for toddlers to understand and to process. The word ‘sorry’ is just a word and what does it mean to a toddler. Instead say ‘Caroline, look, you pushed Tim. He has hurt his arm, shall we go and see if he is ok? Would you like me to say sorry for you and maybe you can give him a hug?’

To learn more or to find out how Tips4Toddlers can help you please click here